Vignettes

26 Jul

I’m attending a full day of thesis proposal presentations. The idea is to get an idea-for next year. It worked. I think I’m going to take up and on Cooperative Movements.

EKTARA, LONE TARA, KON TARA…

Sitting in the room, I feel like I don’t belong-I can’t talk and  think like the presenting students, and I can’t critically receive the presentations like the audience. Somehow I think I prize this difference, I like not belonging because a significant part of who I am is concentrated in an area that is- generally speaking- taboo in the social sciences. I reveal a closely guarded secret- I am, with every cell of my being, a lover of God. I wouldn’t LIKE to ‘belong’ to either/or, because the way I know it, it isn’t an either or. So I’m okay with being different from my academic peers.

YOU CAN TOUCH YOUR NOSE THIS WAY TOO!

Quite a few proposals are delivered in academic heavy speak. Post-presentation , I tell my classmates that I seriously object to use of language that aids obfuscation because it takes ideas away from ordinary people. It does and I do; but I must be honest: I also object because I find such language hard to comprehend and produce. 🙂 I must also confess, that a part of me wishes that I COULD produce heavyspeak.

I’M NOT GOING TO BE SHAKING YOUR HANDS…EVER!

You are sitting in the first row. We are ALL sitting behind you. So when you push your hand inside your waistband to scratch your ass, I can see, but I really wish I didn’t have to. Then you use that hand to affectionately tap the shoulder of the Prof sitting next to you. Then you run your hands through the back of his hair. Then you hug his shoulder and tap tap away with more affection. You make me wonder if you are gay (but he’s married…he has a kid…?) and then, if you are fashioning the image you cultivate about you. Yes, I catch your aura of eccentricity. In your reputation as an intellectual, in your thick, THICK glasses, and in the messy hair, which you periodically de-fresh, giving you a permanent look of the unwashed.

BUT MUST YOU FLAP YOUR HANDS AND WALK LIKE A FLOWER?

I know you’re gay. (The moment you said Hi, very sweetly, I knew. In 12th grade, my friends knew me as the gay-spotter. Unfortunately, I have no gay friends who can take advantage of MY superskill.) However, where does it say that you must wiggle so much: your walk, your hands, your hair? I’m a girl: I walk straighter than you.

Oh wait. I’ve been told I walk like a man. A ‘manly’ walk must a lesbian make? Society gives its nod.

UTERUS EMPTYING SKILLS

I have improved the art of uterus elimination. I’m willing to bet not too many women know how to force out menstrual blood that would otherwise take longer on its own. Expulsion is followed by relief: from cramps and nausea. Cool, no? I’m thinking this points to some patenting possibilities in the future. Who knows, I might yet get to backpack around Europe. On Blood Money.

BWAHAHA.

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