Ha! So much for THAT!

5 Dec

…I went to bed at 2.30 AM, having got as much done as I could for the day. It was a fairly productive day, I must say. I’m fairly pleased with the shape the write-up took.

The aftermath of a late night is a mind that won’t stay very still. Productivity has plunged. I’ve been twiddling my thumbs in front of the computer for three hours now. Reading and re-reading the existing draft to see whether I fit within the time limit. And constructing an outline of the points I think I am making in my draft.

                  —We interrupt this wordpost for an epiphany—

Today morning it hit me. I was reading the newspaper, trying to understand the procedural technicalities of the FDI in retail vote in parliament today, trying to understand foreign relations with China and wondering how I’m ever supposed to ‘get it all’, and more than just superficially. My mind jumped to the many interesting and varied experiences I have been collecting over my life – four ‘different’ courses of study, a mish mash of internships and jobs, a really thorough mish-mash of hobbies and interests- and realised that HA*! I don’t have to see them as indicators of an undecided mind. Their value lies, not in my ability to translate them immediately into Deep Coherent Meaning, but in their mere existence. My experiences are valuable not for what I have already made of them, but what I can make of them as many times as I want in the future, because they are never going away. They are like handy thought/experience capital stored away.

—End of epiphany—

Now that I’m all wise and all 😉 and more able to ‘observe’ my panic, I can, while writing this post, suddenly pin point what reduced my productivity so drastically-more than the late night it was a colleague telling me that the word limit is apparently 3000.  I was going with 6000 and suddenly the party started in my head.

“Half the number of words?”

“How do I fit in the additional bits I had to add today?”

“Will I have to cut out my descriptive commentary of the event? Nooo! I’m fond of that description…! That is what got me started in the first place…!”

“Should I somehow be packing in 3000 words of original ideas (that I don’t have as yet) in clever academic sentences?”

“AM I DOING EVERYTHING WRONG??”

Party, I tell you. Full on!

Sigh.

Back to yesterday’s strategy, then.

*It’s a HA! kind of day 🙂

Advertisements

One Response to “Ha! So much for THAT!”

  1. countingducks December 7, 2012 at 9:15 pm #

    I loved your epiphany moment. Its so true that accumalating the experiences and memories is a richness in itself. Strategy is another debate all together. Good luck with the 3000 word problem

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: