What just hit me?

There I was, trying to work on my dissertation, failing to do so and merrily googling ‘hairstyles for long, unmanageable hair’, when I got an emailed submission for the feminist blog that I am a section editor for. Her bio, which we require, included a link to her blog. Always happy to click on a blog (and having just finished a satisfying perusal of hairstyles I intend to try out this week), I clicked.

And that’s when I felt as if a huge truck had just come out of nowhere and slammed into me. I should probably not use this similie, as the closest I’ve come to realising what this feels like is when I was actually almost run over by a speeding scooter. In Goa. My fault, entirely. Anyway! What I was saying is that I clicked on the blog and I see that its mission is to expose the endemic misogyny of Calcutta. Her words, not mine, and I’m not quoting or linking because I don’t want this to show up on search. Anonymity and all that, remember? 🙂

This is so not the Calcutta I know and have experienced. And I know that there are many other Calcuttas outside of my experience, as indeed is the case for every city and every incident. But gosh, really? So much anger, so much bitterness, such a focussed lens, such a…mission…to expose…

I’m conflicted about how to think about this. I identify as a feminist; I know the experiences she states DID actually happen to her and there is no way I want to negate or minimise that; I know that critics of feminism (and there is a whole spectrum of them, just as there is a whole spectrum of feminisms) might say she is creating a mountain of a molehill, that she’s delusional or negative or whatever, but that’s not what I’m saying. I’m struggling to put my finger on why that blog, or that mode of thinking, is just so WRONG. I feel it at a soulular level, that its wrong (and I don’t mean morally). I’ve felt the same earlier about similar narratives of class violence and caste violence.

I think what I’m trying to say is that-

1) The world is full of a lot of crap. If you go digging, you can go on forever without ever emerging for light and air. This is not to say that a desire for light and air means you just brush the crap under the carpet.

2) Light and air is our goal. We are Divine Beings, the world around us is a Divine creation with a purpose of leading us to the Love.

3) We need to focus on light and air, like we need to breathe. And when this attempt is made in tune with Divine discipleship, it results in an effort that doesn’t lead to amnesia about what is wrong in this world.

4) Thoughts have a tremendous power to create reality. I firmly believe this now. A happy, positive outlook creates a happier, more agreeable world.

5) If I’m looking to see love and acceptance, I will. If I’m looking to see persecution I will. This is irrespective of what is ‘out there’. Because what is ‘out there’ has a very real connection with what is ‘up there'(in our minds I mean).

6) There has got to be a better way, a less violent way, to express the crap we deal with sometimes. Because words and lenses too can be violent if they are so steeped in negativity.

Also, a part of me wants to only see the Calcutta of free movement and gentle people that I so far have been seeing, because it fits into how I wish to continue relating to the city.

Ok, that’s it. Now on to some dissertation reading.