Still alive, still disserting…

13 May

What do you do when you receive feedback on your first chapter? You put your head down on your desk and cry. Ok, not really. You eat the world’s easiest home-made chocolate pudding, read a catalogue, walk around and then get back to work. It really is a fantastically helpful feedback from someone who isn’t even my guide. She read close to 17.5K words just because.

I’m not at the library today. The body has been announcing its need for some yoga. It is only today that I realised it.

It goes without saying that I’m behind my writing schedule. But, as I’ve been saying to whoever has been asking- I’ve NEVER been on schedule. Ever. Either my schedule making skills suck or I just work weird.

Right now I’m also following the word dump method. I’m just putting it all down, with 80% care. I need to finish the chapters more than I need perfect half chapters before my June presentation.

Note to future self: I am not panicking. This is doable. But that element of uncertainty about completion will remain until I actually finish. Next time, if there is ever a next time, do a LOT more writing during fieldwork. It doesn’t have to be ‘proper’ writing. My honest thoughts count. No need to make the dissertation impersonal. Also, don’t give up the meditation, even when it’s not really happening. This is not a dissertation. This is a deeply welcomed opportunity to learn to connect with God while doing life. Life comes in many forms. And this is why I no longer ever wish I were younger or my 20 year old self (twenty used to be the number I wanted to be all my life). Back then, I had a very limited idea of what ‘life’ could signify. Literally.


2 Responses to “Still alive, still disserting…”

  1. countingducks May 13, 2013 at 3:43 pm #

    I always admire your combination of determination and a reflective attitude. It will make for a very rich life. As for the writing. It can be hard, I know, but just keep it going

    • astudentinkolkata May 14, 2013 at 7:21 pm #

      You are far too kind, as always.

      Keep it going-good advice, one I’m trying to follow faithfully 🙂

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