But nobody said ‘stop breathing’! Or, some notes from Delhi

4 Oct

It has been challenging doing a 9-5 desk job, again. Or rather, a 9-5 and a 10-5.30, so far (it’s been two days yet…)

I love the people, I love the organisation and am quite interested in what they would like me to do. But, being indoors all day, sitting at the same desk, staring at a computer screen (without allowing myself the liberty of blog-reading and facebooking during work hours…) is leaving me depleted of energy and grumpy. To add to that, my usually-moderate appetite has decided to announce itself with a vengeance, and I’m hungry all day, despite the excellent lunch they feed us. Oh, and did I mention? I’m practicing being a tea-totaller, so no tea or coffee for me all day?

Like, I said, I’m grumpy. So I’m just going to waste some time on the internet tonight, take a leisurely sleep overnight and look at the work I brought home with me (which was difficult to do today given my level of grump) and take a shot at it tomorrow.  

Despite the grump, I’m thankful that this shift to Delhi has shaken me out of my complacency where my meditation routine is concerned. I will be forced to up my game and intensify the meditation if I’m going to at all enjoy the two months, instead of just going through the motions. The latter is what I remember doing in the two instances when I’ve held a job and interned in Delhi, because everything is just a lot more rushed here, in comparison with Calcutta. Back in Calcutta, I sleep by 11, wake up by 7 AM, and sit down to meditate by 9AM. I never had to reach anywhere before 11 unless I planned it so. In Delhi, I have to be up by 5 AM if I plan to meditate, am out of the house by 8, and am back home not before 7PM. That leaves me with 3.5 hours in the evenings to pack in dinner, a family chat, internet time, breathing time, and spiritual book time. Key word being ‘pack in’; I’m not a ‘pack in’ kind of girl.

So yes, I’m going to treat this as a welcome opportunity to learn to work on making myself immune to yet another equilibrium-shaker in life.  For starters, I can remind myself that just because I’m working in a union office, I don’t have to stop deep breathing and neither do I have to forget the Beloved during the day! Nothing comes before the Beloved.

In other matters, I thought this morning, as I rode the bus to work, that this time I’d brought back a little of Calcutta with me to Delhi, as far as my attitude to travelling about the city goes. I thought I’d shelved the constant background score of apprehension and the seed of fear that lay planted in me, conditioned by years and years of scary Delhi stories. Taking a bus back at 9.30PM tonight though, I realised Delhi isn’t Calcutta. Once I can put my finger on what exactly is different, I shall be able to think about this better.



3 Responses to “But nobody said ‘stop breathing’! Or, some notes from Delhi”

  1. countingducks October 5, 2013 at 9:49 pm #

    It sounds like you are having to adjust to a bit more pressure at the moment, which is often difficult. The increased appetite could be a result of increased tension. Just a theory and probably rubbish. Whatever your circumstances, you always describe them so well. I’m wondering how long you are in Delhi for ?

    • astudentinkolkata October 6, 2013 at 10:12 pm #

      Yes, a bit of an adjustment process in progress! I’m here for two months…


  1. Sunday Diaries-5 | In Calcutta, a student. - May 25, 2015

    […] Or, Nobody Said Stop Breathing II. […]

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